Movie Monday: Zoolander

This week for Movie Monday I’m back with a movie that has a bit of a cult following. It’s Zoolander!

Plot Synopsis: In New York City, the self-absorbed and dim-witted but good-natured Derek Zoolander is ousted as the top male fashion model by the rising star Hansel, and his reputation is further tarnished by a critical article from journalist Matilda Jeffries. After his three roommates and colleagues are killed in a “freak gasoline-fight accident”, Derek announces his retirement from modeling. He goes to his native New Jersey to attempt to reconnect with his working class father Larry and brothers Luke and Scrappy by helping them in the coal mines. Derek’s delicate methods make him an impractical miner, and his family rejects him….

Plot: The plot is terrible, or rather atrocious. But that was intentional in that it’s a satire of the fashion industry in general. The movie isn’t meant to have a good plot.

Casting: The cast is pretty great, with Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson being perfect for Derk and Hansel respectively. The entire cast is pretty great.

Cinematography: The special effects are pretty okay, but some of it is just silly. Particularly the scene at the plot’s climax.

Music: The music is just as silly as the movie.

Overall: Maybe not a must watch, as it’s plot is freaking terrible, but it can still make you laugh like a madman.

For those who like: Comedy, Satire, Drama, Excellent Cast.

Not for those who don’t like: Any of the above.

Video Game Tuesday: Assassin’s Creed 3


This week I’m covering the end of the Desmond Saga in the Assassin’s Creed series.

Plot Synopsis:  The main character is Desmond Miles, a 21st-century Assassin, working to uncover the secrets of a mysterious Precursor Vault that purportedly will protect the Earth from an upcoming solar flare on December 21, 2012. To uncover the secrets, Desmond uses the Animus to live out memories of two of his ancestors which the player controls during these sequences, both set at the time of the American Revolutionary War.

Plot: I enjoyed the modern missions immensely in this game although I wish that Desmond had a second Hidden Blade personally, as it would’ve been nice to have it in combat. The plot in the past however was okay, but not spectacular. I can’t say anymore without any spoilers happening, but it wasn’t that great.

Characters: I didn’t like how set on his goals Connor was, and he wasn’t nearly as funny as Ezio was in previous games. The only amusing character I met was Ben Franklin, who was a riot to listen to. There wasn’t enough funny moments to break up the seriousness of the rest of the game and it made Connor seem like a jerk most of the time.

Gameplay: One thing that was really different from previous games was the fact that cities were a heck of a lot more dangerous on the rooftops than they were in previous games I’d played. I found myself on the streets way too often, when in past games I’d have rarely touched the ground unless I was doing it after jumping off a building to stab a couple guards to death. Also the streets were way too large, with no easy way of crossing the street from rooftop to rooftop. A nice addition was the ability to treerun, free run through the treetops, and it made it so much fun to play out in the wilderness where a wolf could easily kick your butt and kill you in a couple seconds.

Combat : Is much different from previous games in that it was harder to counter-stab people to death, and I found myself not using the Hidden Blades exclusively like I did when I played as Ezio. I enjoyed using the Tomahawk much more than I thought I would. Also changed was the way recruited assassin’s functioned. Instead of getting like 20 in Brotherhood, you only had 8 total, but they were much more powerful than before. I found myself able to clear entire streets full of guards using just my recruits and not having to fight myself at all. I guess that makes up for the fact that I had to walk on the streets most of the time.

Music: The music in this was amazing, from the opening sequence to the final sequence as Desmond.

Art: One thing I had against the art style in this was that all the trees looked way to similar, which was in part to being able to treerun for the first time in the series. Overall: If you can get over the fact that it’s characters were unlikable it’s a pretty good game gameplay-wise. For those who like: The series, solid gameplay, not so solid plot. Not for those who don’t like: Any of the above.

Book Series Wednesday: The Elemental Assassin Series by Jennifer Estep


I promise I’ll do something other than Urban Fantasy next week! However I thought I’d review this series first, Elemental Assassin by Jennifer Estep.

Story Synopsis: The Elemental Assassin series of books focus on Gin Blanco, an assassin codenamed the Spider who can control the elements of Ice and Stone. When she’s not busy killing people and righting wrongs, Gin works in a barbecue restaurant called the Pork Pit in the fictional Southern metropolis of Ashland. The city is also home to giants, dwarves, vampires, and elementals – Air, Fire, Ice, and Stone.

Plot: Pretty good if you don’t mind lots of murder; it’s also not as funny as say the Dresden Files or The Iron Druid Chronicles, but it has it’s moments. One thing I have an issue with is that there is at least one sex scene in each book, I think it takes away from the rest of the plot lines, but that’s just me.

Characters: Gin is a certifiable badass, and she just loves to use her knives to make you a sandwich or to make you into one depending on how much you piss her off. Her foster brother Finn, is the comedian most of the time, but it’s dark humor most of the time and he’s also a certifiable badass as well.

Overall: Great series if you’re looking for something a bit more serious than say the Dresden Files or with less mythological creatures than the Iron Druid Chronicles. It does have lots of fight scenes as well.

For those who like: Badass female leads with a really dark sense of humor, Assassins of any sort, Lots and lots of fight scenes.

Not for those who don’t like: Any of the above, or the sex scenes that occur at least once a book.